I wish I could say that my new job in the corporate world was full-time, but alas, after months of interviews, resumes, etc. all I was able to land was a part-time entry-level sales job. I am not in the least ashamed of this fact. Compared to the months of rejection, I LEPT at the opportunity. I even forgot to ask how much I was getting paid. And in fact, it doesn't even matter! I know it will be more than NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION was paying me.
Upon quitting the part time nonprofit job the elderly ladies at NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION asked me what my five year plan was.
I stared at them for a moment, not really comprehending the question. Are they really so oblivious to the current state of the economy? Do they really think that I have the LUXURY of planning ahead? Of deciding my future? The answer is yes, yes they are that oblivious.
The elderly/retired/uppermanagement type MOFOs in America really do not comprehend that the world is completely different for the youth of the moment. I stumbled my way through an answer, but I could tell they were confused by my lack of future planning.
If I had been honest though, this is what I would have said: "Well, I tell you what, I hope that I have paid off about half my loans, have moved in with my boyfriend, and have earned some type of full-time work that enables me to increase my loan payments so I can pay them off before I'm 40, thus enabling me to have a family at a reasonable age."
I'm sure they would have nodded politely and gossiped about it later over a doily-knitting session.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Corporate Plunge
Ready for the floor? Because I am. I will start at SOFTWARE COMPANY in less than a week. I have just spent 597 days in what we first worlders consider to be the Real World. I graduated magna cum laude but all thats left is the cum. NO, I'm not a prostitute. Twatting off makes me happy. My usual fantasies of sucking D accompanied by the tunes of Hot Chip has been my muse. Why am I not sharing my revelations with the whole wide world?
I have just spent my first 597 days of the real world. What have I learned? Well, what have you learned? We have all experienced the same problems in some form or another, its whether you learned from them, accepted the truths, or not.
I have accepted the truth. In my even younger youth I decided I wanted to go to a four year private school with no concept of the burden I was taking on. My double major in USELESS ASIAN LANGUAGE and USELESS STUDIES came at a cost of roughly $60,000 after the interest was capitalized. Now some people try to kid themselves into thinking it was worth it. When I tell people that if I could go back I would NOT do it all over again, they seem offended. Now maybe its because I met them at that school and I am saying I would choose not meeting them, and they are right. I have a friend who tries to justify the cost - FRIEND thinks that they needed the small class sizes to learn, that they needed the special attention. They say so guilt trippily "well I don't know about you, but I think I need that extra help. But thats just me". Wow, way to take my debt problem and turn it into me implying you're stupid.Unfortunately I agreed that if that was their argument, then they probably did have to pay for school that was that expensive to accommodate it. The irony is, FRIEND has way more debt than I do.
What the hell is that about?
Completely irrational. But I'm doing the adult thing - I'm pushing people away from me that are irrational and taking a job in corporate. Now some of you out there are probably pulling your hair out. What?! Corporate, that is never EVER the answer. Well, ma'ams and sirs of Portlandia, let me tell you, not all of us have rich parents who can afford to fund our Occupy Wallstreet sit-ins.
NOW - I AM NOT AGAINST OCCUPY WALLSTREET, because the rational ones will understand what I'm talking about. I'm talking to you irrational Mo-Fos who were coddled in a middle/upper class home into thinking you could be successful making Shrinky Dink jewelry to sell at the local Farmers Market with a $100,000 degree in LifeISArt Studies or some other BS.
The cold-hard reality is, I have been working parttime at two non-profits at almost 50 hours a week, getting by and sometimes more than getting by, but my savings has 0 growth.
Ahh, the nonprofits, now thats something I can really sink my fangs into. I have few beliefs, but these are some of the truths I think many will accept:
-Don't buy what you don't believe in
-You need to save for the future
And yet despite the wholesome messages of nonprofits, I could not afford the membership at the nonprofits I worked at! In addition, I was paid so little, that after loan payments, I could barely afford the LOCAL COOP that I am committed to supporting. Let me ask you, if you work at an Environmentally Friendly nonprofit but then only have enough money to by generic food at Wal-Mart, what the hell do you think you are doing?
In addition, I don't make enough to ensure any future or retirement to speak of. I'm frugal, I milk my money, but I also refuse to buy cheap food/stuff that hurts the environment and society. The only reasonable course I have to take is get a job where I can make as much money as possible to pay my debts off asap so I can have a family and an earthsheltered home (yes I'm one of those people too), at the most ethical corporation possible. Lucky for me I'm going into entry level sales at SOFTWARE COMPANY next week.
Software - the only thing that I can think to object to is that the tool I'm selling could be being used for ill . I console myself with the fact that the software also has features that support environment/energy iniatives for the good business out there. I think I found the holy grail of jobs for a stuck up twat like myself.
Its only part time to start, but I am going to work my ASS off to get the promotion to full time. I will crawl over the bodies of my co-workers. Ha.
Here's to you fellow real-worlders out there - to the ones who realized that business has been given an overly bad name and nonprofits an overly good one.
I have just spent my first 597 days of the real world. What have I learned? Well, what have you learned? We have all experienced the same problems in some form or another, its whether you learned from them, accepted the truths, or not.
I have accepted the truth. In my even younger youth I decided I wanted to go to a four year private school with no concept of the burden I was taking on. My double major in USELESS ASIAN LANGUAGE and USELESS STUDIES came at a cost of roughly $60,000 after the interest was capitalized. Now some people try to kid themselves into thinking it was worth it. When I tell people that if I could go back I would NOT do it all over again, they seem offended. Now maybe its because I met them at that school and I am saying I would choose not meeting them, and they are right. I have a friend who tries to justify the cost - FRIEND thinks that they needed the small class sizes to learn, that they needed the special attention. They say so guilt trippily "well I don't know about you, but I think I need that extra help. But thats just me". Wow, way to take my debt problem and turn it into me implying you're stupid.Unfortunately I agreed that if that was their argument, then they probably did have to pay for school that was that expensive to accommodate it. The irony is, FRIEND has way more debt than I do.
What the hell is that about?
Completely irrational. But I'm doing the adult thing - I'm pushing people away from me that are irrational and taking a job in corporate. Now some of you out there are probably pulling your hair out. What?! Corporate, that is never EVER the answer. Well, ma'ams and sirs of Portlandia, let me tell you, not all of us have rich parents who can afford to fund our Occupy Wallstreet sit-ins.
NOW - I AM NOT AGAINST OCCUPY WALLSTREET, because the rational ones will understand what I'm talking about. I'm talking to you irrational Mo-Fos who were coddled in a middle/upper class home into thinking you could be successful making Shrinky Dink jewelry to sell at the local Farmers Market with a $100,000 degree in LifeISArt Studies or some other BS.
The cold-hard reality is, I have been working parttime at two non-profits at almost 50 hours a week, getting by and sometimes more than getting by, but my savings has 0 growth.
Ahh, the nonprofits, now thats something I can really sink my fangs into. I have few beliefs, but these are some of the truths I think many will accept:
-Don't buy what you don't believe in
-You need to save for the future
And yet despite the wholesome messages of nonprofits, I could not afford the membership at the nonprofits I worked at! In addition, I was paid so little, that after loan payments, I could barely afford the LOCAL COOP that I am committed to supporting. Let me ask you, if you work at an Environmentally Friendly nonprofit but then only have enough money to by generic food at Wal-Mart, what the hell do you think you are doing?
In addition, I don't make enough to ensure any future or retirement to speak of. I'm frugal, I milk my money, but I also refuse to buy cheap food/stuff that hurts the environment and society. The only reasonable course I have to take is get a job where I can make as much money as possible to pay my debts off asap so I can have a family and an earthsheltered home (yes I'm one of those people too), at the most ethical corporation possible. Lucky for me I'm going into entry level sales at SOFTWARE COMPANY next week.
Software - the only thing that I can think to object to is that the tool I'm selling could be being used for ill . I console myself with the fact that the software also has features that support environment/energy iniatives for the good business out there. I think I found the holy grail of jobs for a stuck up twat like myself.
Its only part time to start, but I am going to work my ASS off to get the promotion to full time. I will crawl over the bodies of my co-workers. Ha.
Here's to you fellow real-worlders out there - to the ones who realized that business has been given an overly bad name and nonprofits an overly good one.
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